First day of Dance Class!

Lulu started tap and ballet class and really enjoyed it! She'll be going one night a week and the class is 1/2 hour of tap, then 1/2 of ballet. We sat in the class the week before so Lulu could watch and so I would know if she really wanted to do it. She said she did and talked about it for several days. When the class first started, she froze for a couple minutes, then came over to me and shook her head "no". I said, "okay, let's just watch". After a few minutes of watching the teacher and teacher's assistant working individually with each student, she turned to me and said "yes!". So I told her to go back in line, and from there she had a blast. She ran up to the teacher a couple of times during class and hugged her! I think she will do pretty good at tap, but ballet is probably going to be a lot harder for her. I know it was only her first class, but she has a hard time turning her right leg out. I'm hoping in time and with practice it will get easier for her. The main thing is that she had fun!

Five years ago today...

Lulu was found outside of a hospital on August 23, 2005. She was 4 months old. We don't know who the person was who abandoned her at the hospital (her birth mom, birth father, grandparent?), but we would like to think that her birth parents are thinking about her right now. I have read that one of the most common reasons for abandonment of a child in China is from women who are pregnant out of wedlock. In China, an unwed mother causes shame to the entire family. I've read that that is more common than abandoning a child due to the one child rule. But there are so many reasons why children in China are abandoned and we will probably never know the reasoning behind Lulu's abandonment. I kind of feel that her family could not afford to give her the care that she needed, or did not know what exactly she needed or what to do for her. According to her records, when she was found, she barely had any active movement in her limbs. She was at a normal weight and size, so I feel that she was not necessarily neglected. I do feel that her family wanted the best for her since they abandoned her at a 'safe' place and knew that she needed medical attention. There are so many questions and it is going to be hard to answer them when Lulu starts asking. There will be so many "we don't know" answers. We did get to see the hospital where she was abandoned at. It was HUGE! Her city has 2.2 million people in it, and that's considered a 'small' city in China. We also have the name of the person who abandoned her. I just read that there is a woman in China working in Lulu's city that will try to contact the 'finding person' and try to get any information she can regarding the circumstances of the abandonment. We already know that she was left with nothing, no clothes, no note, etc. That's what we were told and what is on record. I don't know if the person who found her has any more information. I may wait and see if the woman in China can get some valuable answers for some other families that are going to use her services. Any information that we don't have now and can get for Lulu in the future would be wonderful. She may not care to know, but if she does, I want her to know that we tried to get as much information as possible.

I have not thought a lot about Lulu's birth mother in a while now... but I am today. I wish there was some way that she could know that her little girl is safe and loved. That she has a family that will always love and provide for her. That she is a strong, brave, smart, stubborn, feisty, caring, and giving little girl. And that she is a survivor in so many ways. She has blessed us so much, and I can't imagine my life now without her. She was truly meant to be our daughter, but not meant to be abandoned and have to endure the struggles that comes with that.

Lulu is continuing to learn a lot of English, and has recently been trying to tell us what her China foster daddy did for work. We understand that she is telling us that he worked at night. She was trying to explain to us what he did, and it sounds like he picked up dogs that were hurt (or needed medical attention from someone's home or hit by a car), and took them 'somewhere'. She described cages in a big car and seemed to be telling us that they were taken to a shelter, or maybe a vet clinic, where a lot of other dogs were. Without enough words on her part, our minds can go in a lot of directions with this information. But when we asked certain questions, she would adamantly say 'no' when we were off track, and 'yes' when we seemed to understand her. We're still not completely clear with what she told us, so I'm thinking about bringing her by an animal shelter and/or vet clinic and seeing if that is what she is talking about. We can't wait until she learns more English and can hear a lot more about her life in China.

Advocating for Children needing Foster Care!

For anyone reading my blog, I hope you or someone you know may be able to help kids in need of foster care in China.

I am a new orphanage volunteer for Grace & Hope for Children and am working with Lulu's Children's Welfare Institute to find sponsors for several children. When a child is sponsored, they will be moved out of the orphanage and placed with trained foster families in their community. Foster care may be a temporary placement prior to adoption, or a long term family solution. It is the goal of many orphanages to have all the children placed in foster care since children thrive with individual care in a family setting. Lulu was in foster care for 3 years, and we are so grateful that she had a sponsor and a foster family. She was able to receive the love of a family and able to attach to parents and siblings.

A sponsor will receive quarterly updates on their sponsored child and four photos. To learn more about the sponsorship program, or to donate in any way, please visit Grace & Hope for Children at www.grace-hope.org. Lulu's CWI is under Hefei City and there are 12 children needing sponsors right now.

I am sponsoring one of Lulu's classmates that I saw when we visited the orphanage, and am looking forward to receiving updates on her. I've also been sponsoring a young boy from Haiti for the past 6 years. Sponsoring a child is a rewarding and great way to make a big difference in a child's life.

A wonderful first yesterday!

I finally heard the words I've been longing for from Lulu....."I love you". She has told us she loves us after we say it to her, but yesterday was the first time she just came out and said it. She also said it again tonight. In China and when we first came home, we said "I love you" in Mandarin, and at times she would say it back, although we knew she probably did not truly love us at that time. Then for several weeks we would tell her we loved her in English and Mandarin and she would not say anything. From there she would sometimes respond with an "I love you" back, but not always. So, I was very surprised to hear her say it out of the blue yesterday. She's also been wanting more hugs and kisses, which is so nice. We've been having several good days, then a day with major tantrums, then more good days.

Yesterday at school she and another kid got in trouble for pushing each other, and the day before she pinched a kid who was on a bicycle that she wanted to ride. We had a little talk, and she was really good today and she was good all of last week. She has adjusted to the new schedule of daddy taking her to school and mommy picking her up. She is also starting to take long, good naps at school, which is great since we are still going to bed too late. She will not sleep until we do. The past 2 nights I slept in her bed with her (a twin), and I'm hoping the more I do it, the more she will get used to her bed. The bed is comfortable, but it just doesn't compare to the king sized tempurpedic!

Climbing, the beach, Brad's birthday, and brother Jonathan

Three Months since Forever Family Day!

Brad and I can't believe it's only been 3 months since we met Lulu. It feels a lot longer and we can't believe how well she has adjusted overall. Other than the tantrums, she is doing great. Her love and trust for us seems to be growing more and more with each day. We love her so much and we're so proud of all her accomplishments. It's hard to believe how different her life was just 3 short months ago. Although she tries to be controlling with a lot of things (which is common), she seems very appreciative with what she has and all the things we do for her and with her.

Lulu likes to be pushed in carts at stores. In stores like Target and Walmart, they have the big carts where kids can just step on in. At our Publix though, they don't have those carts and she is just too big for me to lift up into the front seat. So, I'm always worried when we go to a store that does not have the big carts since she will start to get whiny or close to having a tantrum. However, I had to go to Publix with her yesterday so I let her push the cart. Since her right hand/arm is weak, she needed some help steering, but I let her push it through the entire store. She was so excited about it and stopped twice to give me two really big hugs. I know she would not be allowed to do anything like that in China, and she probably felt so good that she was helping me and had control over the shopping cart. Also, pushing is a very good sensory integration exercise and she loves to push things. We had a really good day yesterday. She had PT and OT in the morning, and we ended the day with swimming at a community pool. She loves the pool and always squeals with excitment when we go.

Early Learning Center and Getting Stronger!

I've been back to work 2 days now and the teacher said Lulu is doing really good. She's been happy when I pick her up and yesterday she hugged her teacher goodbye. She got a sticker yesterday and today for doing a good job cleaning up at school. I really like Lulu's teacher, but unfortunately she is leaving in a week. I hate that Lulu is going to have to adjust to another teacher. Thankfully, the teacher's temporary replacement is a teacher assistant that Lulu is already comfortable with and likes.

Lulu is getting a lot stronger! We've been really consistent with her jumping on the mini trampoline and she really enjoys it. Lulu's weakness on her right side and trunk is not very obvious if you just see her walking or running around. It's really evident though at the park when you see her slowly and deliberately climbing up to go down the slides. She used to need help climbing some of the ladder type steps to get up to a slide, or actually climbing back up on the slides like most kids can easily do. But last night, she climbed up a long slide without me having to push her up. She did it for about 10 times and did great! I was amazed too, at Pump It Up, how well she did climbing while standing on an uneven and moving surface. She was unable to do these things not that long ago. Also, for a few weeks when we were first home, she needed help getting up on the bed. Now it's no problem for her. I can also feel that her right grip strength is stronger, and her tummy is more tone. She has not been riding her bike with training wheels lately, and I'm curious to see how she does the next time she's on it.

Back to Work!

Time sure does fly! I return back to work tomorrow after having 12 weeks off. Funny how many things I thought we would be doing in those 12 weeks. I knew Lulu would need time to adjust, but I foolishly thought (before even meeting Lulu) that it wouldn't take this long. I knew that things like Disney or camping would be out of the question for 6 months to a year. I was hoping though, that I would be able to visit my close friends that live 3 1/2 and 5 hours away, but it did not work out that way. The one time we visited with my parents who live 2 1/2 hours away, Lulu slept terribly and did not do well the morning we were leaving. Crying and tantrums 4 times during the night and as we were saying goodbye in the morning. Brad also wanted to go to an upcoming concert while I stayed home with Lulu, but that's out of the question too. One night Brad worked late, until around 9pm I think, and oh, my! Lulu was mad! There was no way she was going to go to sleep without him home, and she would not let me read one of her books to her until Daddy was with us. She was just so upset, but the first thing she said when Brad walked in the door, was that he needed to eat. It was so sweet of her to think about her Daddy being hungry versus being mad at him since he worked late.

Lulu thinks that I've been back to work for 2 weeks now. I had to tell her that so I could get her on a more regimented schedule. She did great last week with Brad taking her to the early learning center in the morning and me picking her up around 2:15pm. So, my schedule at work will be 6 hour days, four days a week. After having a great week last week, she did not do well this weekend and earlier today. My mom was in town and we had a lot of fun on Friday and Saturday morning. Her tantrums started after grandma left. I'm not sure if that is the reason, or because her schedule was off. We have PT and OT on Mondays, and she had some small tantrums during her sessions that thankfully did not get out of control. She waited for that for when we were home!

Pump It Up with Grandma and Momma!

A fun time playing, jumping and sliding at Pump It Up! Lulu did great climbing up the smaller slide!