Kimberly's 6th Birthday Party

Happy Halloween!

We are about to go trick or treating in a few hours, and I'm really hoping Lulu is going to have a lot of fun. She was able to wear her costume 2 times already, but has not worn the bottom part of her princess skirt that lights up and changes colors. I can't wait to see how it looks tonight! We had fun carving out our pumpkins and explained to her that she will see a lot of them tonight. I also tried to warn her that some people may look really scary, but that it's just a costume. We are meeting up with a couple and their kids that I've never met before (they are friends of Brad's), and I hope Lulu doesn't peeter out too soon. She usually does not take naps on the weekends, but I insisted today, and she is sleeping next to me on the couch right now.

Lulu made it through her echocardiogram last week! She was so good, but towards the end kept saying she wanted to go home. Fortunately, her heart looks good, so now she can be sedated for her fillings and an MRI. I still have to get her to an ophthalmologist. She is diagnosed with micro cornea of her right eye. I'm not sure if her vision is bad, but her visual/motor perception is really poor. She has drawn happy faces and other things either sideways or upside down. It's something we need to work a lot more on.

Lulu started swimming lessons yesterday morning at UNF (where I went to PT school). I used to swim there a lot and have such great memories of going to school there. After Lulu's class we walked on the trails and looked at the fish and turtles from a bridge over one of the lakes at school. It feels good going back there and I'm amazed at how much the college has grown. Lulu did great at her first lesson. There are three teachers and each one had three kids they worked with. I told the instructor about Lulu's right sided weakness and that she is still learning English. She said Lulu did great except for not understanding that she shouldn't kick her legs while trying to float! She gets so excited in the water, and I'm so glad they have lessons there since we can't swim at the community pools now. I am loving being a mom and experiencing all the 'firsts' in Lulu's life!

I hope everyone has a fun and safe Halloween! I will post some pictures tomorrow!

Pumpkin Patch

Loving this time of year!

We had a great day yesterday picking out pumpkins and playing at the pumpkin patch. We have 2 large pumpkins to carve and last night we colored 3 little ones. After picking out pumpkins we had a nice lunch, then went to a park. I am so looking forward to Halloween this year. I never got in to dressing up for Halloween as an adult (at least not for awhile now), but am really looking forward to seeing Lulu dressed up and experience trick or treating with her. Brad and I haven't decided if we're going to dress up, although Lulu wants me to be a princess with her, and for Brad to go as Oscar the Grouch in a garbage can! Poor Brad!

Lulu had a great week at school last week, and did great at home as well. One day at school she saw a police horse named Chocolate that she got to pet, a police motorcycle, and sat in the front of a police car. When they turned the siren on she freaked out, and her teacher had to console her for 15 minutes. She hates loud noises! A couple days later the kids walked to an area where a helicopter was and got to see it take off. She was so excited telling me about the fast propellers as she was spinning her arm round and round, and telling me about the doors and the windows. Her teacher said she did pretty well and wasn't as upset with the helicopter noise as she was with the siren.

Last Monday Lulu had her first dentist appointment. I hated having to wait so long to schedule an appointment, but knew she wouldn't have made it through it until now. She actually did get frustrated, and kept telling the woman "no more!". Since she kept moving during the x-rays, they had to repeat them several times. But, she did get through it all, and unfortunately has 2 cavities. I knew for sure that she had one, which is pretty big, and she has another small one. Now she has to make it through an echocardiogram before they can sedate her to do the fillings. We tried having an echo our first month home, and she had a huge tantrum the second she was in the room. Since she understands a lot more English now, I'm hoping she will be able to complete it. I've already told her we need pictures of her heart like we had pictures of her teeth, and explained the procedure to her. I just need to make the appointment and hope it turns out well. She needs the echo to be sedated for her MRI as well.

Five Months since Forever Family Day!

I haven't been posting lately since not much is new. Lulu is still doing good in preschool and having more good days than bad. She still misses her foster family a lot. She mentions her younger foster brother every day. Whatever is happening at home or school, she refers to him as if he is doing the same things that she is. She talks about her other siblings as well and at times about her China mommy and daddy. I know it must be hard for her to not have any siblings around. I'm so glad she likes the dogs and that I can spend a lot of time playing with her. I'm going to sign her up for Playball at school and she will be starting swimming lessons soon at UNF. The pool is indoors and heated. The community swimming pools are now closed (although the weather is still warm), and she really likes to swim (with a swim float around her). I hope she is not terrified of having to put her face under the water. She practices a little in the tub blowing bubbles with just her nose and mouth.

My parents were in town last week since my mom did one of the local running races. Lulu only saw them for a couple of hours, but Grandma, Lulu and I had fun dancing to Madonna and coloring. Lulu loves to color and her coloring has improved tremendously. She also loves Madonna and we dance almost every day. If not at home, then bopping our heads and upper body in the car.

Brad is out of town this weekend and fortunately my sister came to visit. It was good timing since I don't think Lulu would have done as well as she did with Daddy being gone overnight for the first time. We went to the FCC monthly family dinner last night, and Lulu did better with joining the other girls at the craft table. She usually wants me to sit there with her. I'm pretty sure she is shy because of her English compared to the other girls who were adopted when they were a lot younger and can speak English clearly. My sister, Lulu and I shopped some before and after the dinner, and then again today. My sister spoiled Lulu, buying her a lot of fun fall and winter clothes and some new toys. I'm going to have a lot of fun shopping for Lulu for Christmas. I haven't really been excited about this time of year for a long time now. I also usually hate the time change, but I'm looking forward to it this year. I'm really hoping that it will make Lulu settle down sooner at night.

Lulu wants to be a Princess for Halloween! I imagine that's what most little girls want to be at her age. We bought a really cute costume that has little lights on the bottom of the dress. She already has a tiara, earrings and wand from Lynn and Pat, and I bought her some cute sparkly silver shoes. I can't wait to see her all dolled up. We've been talking to her about Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. We haven't made it to a pumpkin patch yet, but need to do it soon. I'm looking forward to us carving out pumpkins and going trick or treating.

Recent pictures

Having problems posting pictures

I've tried for the past 2 days to post new pictures, but for some reason they're not posting. I will try again later today.

A Great Weekend with Wonderful Friends, and Four Months since Forever Family Day!

I had a wonderful Labor Day weekend with two of my dearest friends! "Aunt" Pat drove up from south Florida and both "Aunt" Pat and "Aunt" Lynn got to meet Lulu for the first time. Lulu had a lot of fun! Pat is quite the nutty comedian, and Lynn is funny as well! They totally entertained Lulu and bought her the most beautiful Princess skirt, tiara, earrings, and wand, as well as some classic games, a number dry erase board, and 2 beautiful Chinese CDs. Lulu loved her gifts and the attention, and could not wait for them to come back over the next day. I was a little worried leaving Lulu home with Brad to go out to dinner with the girls on Saturday night, but Brad and Lulu left to go out to eat themselves, so it worked out great. Pat stayed over and the next morning we got pedicures at the Ponte Vedre Inn and Spa. Afterwards, we went to lunch and later that night my PT friends worked on me at the house and entertained Lulu at the same time. It was such a great weekend and I was sad when it was over. The three of us always have the best time when we're together, and I wish our times together were not so few and far between. On Labor Day, Brad, Lulu and I went to the beach and had a very relaxing day.

It's been four months now since our "gotcha" or Forever Family Day. We have a good routine going now during the week, and Lulu is doing great at preschool. The one thing that I worried the most about before the adoption was how she would do with attachment and bonding. I'm happy to say that she is doing wonderful in that area, and is happy with her life here and continues to tell us she loves us. She still has a hard time though with patience and how to control herself if she does not get her way or has to wait for something. Also, if she is not occupied constantly on the weekends, or becomes tired and does not take a nap, then we have several meltdowns. The tantrums happen during the week as well, but are usually not as bad. I've also noticed when I don't do enough sensory activites with her for a day or two, that she has a hard time controlling herself, and acts out a lot more. Since things are flowing a lot better overall, I have to keep reminding myself when she does have her tantrums, that it's only been four months. What is important is that she is happy, and not once has she ever said she wants to go back to China. Sadly, she does not want to speak Mandarin to anyone who speaks it to her.

Lulu has had 3 tap/ballet classes and continues to enjoy it. She attended PT and OT this morning and did great. She can now ride the big tricycles at preschool without her right foot slipping off and she can steer and go around the track several times at a fairly good speed. She has made so much progress with her motor function and endurance since she's been home. She used to tire easily when we would walk the dogs, but the other morning she jogged just about the whole time!

First day of Dance Class!

Lulu started tap and ballet class and really enjoyed it! She'll be going one night a week and the class is 1/2 hour of tap, then 1/2 of ballet. We sat in the class the week before so Lulu could watch and so I would know if she really wanted to do it. She said she did and talked about it for several days. When the class first started, she froze for a couple minutes, then came over to me and shook her head "no". I said, "okay, let's just watch". After a few minutes of watching the teacher and teacher's assistant working individually with each student, she turned to me and said "yes!". So I told her to go back in line, and from there she had a blast. She ran up to the teacher a couple of times during class and hugged her! I think she will do pretty good at tap, but ballet is probably going to be a lot harder for her. I know it was only her first class, but she has a hard time turning her right leg out. I'm hoping in time and with practice it will get easier for her. The main thing is that she had fun!

Five years ago today...

Lulu was found outside of a hospital on August 23, 2005. She was 4 months old. We don't know who the person was who abandoned her at the hospital (her birth mom, birth father, grandparent?), but we would like to think that her birth parents are thinking about her right now. I have read that one of the most common reasons for abandonment of a child in China is from women who are pregnant out of wedlock. In China, an unwed mother causes shame to the entire family. I've read that that is more common than abandoning a child due to the one child rule. But there are so many reasons why children in China are abandoned and we will probably never know the reasoning behind Lulu's abandonment. I kind of feel that her family could not afford to give her the care that she needed, or did not know what exactly she needed or what to do for her. According to her records, when she was found, she barely had any active movement in her limbs. She was at a normal weight and size, so I feel that she was not necessarily neglected. I do feel that her family wanted the best for her since they abandoned her at a 'safe' place and knew that she needed medical attention. There are so many questions and it is going to be hard to answer them when Lulu starts asking. There will be so many "we don't know" answers. We did get to see the hospital where she was abandoned at. It was HUGE! Her city has 2.2 million people in it, and that's considered a 'small' city in China. We also have the name of the person who abandoned her. I just read that there is a woman in China working in Lulu's city that will try to contact the 'finding person' and try to get any information she can regarding the circumstances of the abandonment. We already know that she was left with nothing, no clothes, no note, etc. That's what we were told and what is on record. I don't know if the person who found her has any more information. I may wait and see if the woman in China can get some valuable answers for some other families that are going to use her services. Any information that we don't have now and can get for Lulu in the future would be wonderful. She may not care to know, but if she does, I want her to know that we tried to get as much information as possible.

I have not thought a lot about Lulu's birth mother in a while now... but I am today. I wish there was some way that she could know that her little girl is safe and loved. That she has a family that will always love and provide for her. That she is a strong, brave, smart, stubborn, feisty, caring, and giving little girl. And that she is a survivor in so many ways. She has blessed us so much, and I can't imagine my life now without her. She was truly meant to be our daughter, but not meant to be abandoned and have to endure the struggles that comes with that.

Lulu is continuing to learn a lot of English, and has recently been trying to tell us what her China foster daddy did for work. We understand that she is telling us that he worked at night. She was trying to explain to us what he did, and it sounds like he picked up dogs that were hurt (or needed medical attention from someone's home or hit by a car), and took them 'somewhere'. She described cages in a big car and seemed to be telling us that they were taken to a shelter, or maybe a vet clinic, where a lot of other dogs were. Without enough words on her part, our minds can go in a lot of directions with this information. But when we asked certain questions, she would adamantly say 'no' when we were off track, and 'yes' when we seemed to understand her. We're still not completely clear with what she told us, so I'm thinking about bringing her by an animal shelter and/or vet clinic and seeing if that is what she is talking about. We can't wait until she learns more English and can hear a lot more about her life in China.

Advocating for Children needing Foster Care!

For anyone reading my blog, I hope you or someone you know may be able to help kids in need of foster care in China.

I am a new orphanage volunteer for Grace & Hope for Children and am working with Lulu's Children's Welfare Institute to find sponsors for several children. When a child is sponsored, they will be moved out of the orphanage and placed with trained foster families in their community. Foster care may be a temporary placement prior to adoption, or a long term family solution. It is the goal of many orphanages to have all the children placed in foster care since children thrive with individual care in a family setting. Lulu was in foster care for 3 years, and we are so grateful that she had a sponsor and a foster family. She was able to receive the love of a family and able to attach to parents and siblings.

A sponsor will receive quarterly updates on their sponsored child and four photos. To learn more about the sponsorship program, or to donate in any way, please visit Grace & Hope for Children at www.grace-hope.org. Lulu's CWI is under Hefei City and there are 12 children needing sponsors right now.

I am sponsoring one of Lulu's classmates that I saw when we visited the orphanage, and am looking forward to receiving updates on her. I've also been sponsoring a young boy from Haiti for the past 6 years. Sponsoring a child is a rewarding and great way to make a big difference in a child's life.

A wonderful first yesterday!

I finally heard the words I've been longing for from Lulu....."I love you". She has told us she loves us after we say it to her, but yesterday was the first time she just came out and said it. She also said it again tonight. In China and when we first came home, we said "I love you" in Mandarin, and at times she would say it back, although we knew she probably did not truly love us at that time. Then for several weeks we would tell her we loved her in English and Mandarin and she would not say anything. From there she would sometimes respond with an "I love you" back, but not always. So, I was very surprised to hear her say it out of the blue yesterday. She's also been wanting more hugs and kisses, which is so nice. We've been having several good days, then a day with major tantrums, then more good days.

Yesterday at school she and another kid got in trouble for pushing each other, and the day before she pinched a kid who was on a bicycle that she wanted to ride. We had a little talk, and she was really good today and she was good all of last week. She has adjusted to the new schedule of daddy taking her to school and mommy picking her up. She is also starting to take long, good naps at school, which is great since we are still going to bed too late. She will not sleep until we do. The past 2 nights I slept in her bed with her (a twin), and I'm hoping the more I do it, the more she will get used to her bed. The bed is comfortable, but it just doesn't compare to the king sized tempurpedic!