Five years ago today...

Lulu was found outside of a hospital on August 23, 2005. She was 4 months old. We don't know who the person was who abandoned her at the hospital (her birth mom, birth father, grandparent?), but we would like to think that her birth parents are thinking about her right now. I have read that one of the most common reasons for abandonment of a child in China is from women who are pregnant out of wedlock. In China, an unwed mother causes shame to the entire family. I've read that that is more common than abandoning a child due to the one child rule. But there are so many reasons why children in China are abandoned and we will probably never know the reasoning behind Lulu's abandonment. I kind of feel that her family could not afford to give her the care that she needed, or did not know what exactly she needed or what to do for her. According to her records, when she was found, she barely had any active movement in her limbs. She was at a normal weight and size, so I feel that she was not necessarily neglected. I do feel that her family wanted the best for her since they abandoned her at a 'safe' place and knew that she needed medical attention. There are so many questions and it is going to be hard to answer them when Lulu starts asking. There will be so many "we don't know" answers. We did get to see the hospital where she was abandoned at. It was HUGE! Her city has 2.2 million people in it, and that's considered a 'small' city in China. We also have the name of the person who abandoned her. I just read that there is a woman in China working in Lulu's city that will try to contact the 'finding person' and try to get any information she can regarding the circumstances of the abandonment. We already know that she was left with nothing, no clothes, no note, etc. That's what we were told and what is on record. I don't know if the person who found her has any more information. I may wait and see if the woman in China can get some valuable answers for some other families that are going to use her services. Any information that we don't have now and can get for Lulu in the future would be wonderful. She may not care to know, but if she does, I want her to know that we tried to get as much information as possible.

I have not thought a lot about Lulu's birth mother in a while now... but I am today. I wish there was some way that she could know that her little girl is safe and loved. That she has a family that will always love and provide for her. That she is a strong, brave, smart, stubborn, feisty, caring, and giving little girl. And that she is a survivor in so many ways. She has blessed us so much, and I can't imagine my life now without her. She was truly meant to be our daughter, but not meant to be abandoned and have to endure the struggles that comes with that.

Lulu is continuing to learn a lot of English, and has recently been trying to tell us what her China foster daddy did for work. We understand that she is telling us that he worked at night. She was trying to explain to us what he did, and it sounds like he picked up dogs that were hurt (or needed medical attention from someone's home or hit by a car), and took them 'somewhere'. She described cages in a big car and seemed to be telling us that they were taken to a shelter, or maybe a vet clinic, where a lot of other dogs were. Without enough words on her part, our minds can go in a lot of directions with this information. But when we asked certain questions, she would adamantly say 'no' when we were off track, and 'yes' when we seemed to understand her. We're still not completely clear with what she told us, so I'm thinking about bringing her by an animal shelter and/or vet clinic and seeing if that is what she is talking about. We can't wait until she learns more English and can hear a lot more about her life in China.